


Crave

by Subtle_Shenanigans



Series: Confused Chicken and Ashen Feathers [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Don’t copy to another site, Fluff, Gen, I swear I’m working on P!Hanahaki too, Phoenix - Freeform, Shapeshifters - Freeform, Touch Aversion, Trauma, but aren’t kids, chicken, kids are kids, no beta we die like men, of sorts, platonic, touch starvation, vent???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 01:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18840850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subtle_Shenanigans/pseuds/Subtle_Shenanigans
Summary: Jake being touch-starved.





	Crave

**Author's Note:**

> Short piece about these kiddos. Wanted to write about Jake being touch starved since realistically he didn’t have anyone until Zero. It cuts a little short at the end and I apologize.

     It catches him off guard; soft fingers running through his hair and over the back of his skull. He shivers at the tingle, fighting between stiffening and leaning back into the touch.

     Zero immediately apologizes, pulls away; she should have asked, shouldn’t have assumed.

    “It’s, it’s fine,” he chokes out, embarrassed and bewildered. He wants it back, wants the good and nice feeling, but there’s some sort of fear uncurling and clawing it’s way through him.

    He wants to tell her that it’s not her fault, nothing to do with her, please  ~~it’s fine it was nice no one has done that before do it again, he can’t remember the last time he had a gentle touch, _please-_~~

   Instead Jake keeps his mouth shut and bites back everything he wants to say.

* * *

     During his however-long-it-may-have-been, before meeting Zero but after leaving home(?), he can’t really remember a friendly touch.

    As a chicken, people had grabbed him by neck or wing while exclaiming in surprise at his unusual plumage - that, or animals like cats and hounds were breathing down his tail and snagging at feathers. The only reason he had snuck on the ship in the first place was because he fell into a mud puddle that dulled his feathers until he looked nothing more like a dirty bird.

    He had been roughly handled into the cage.

 ~~~~~~And then pressed against others with no room to move; suffocating and sweltering until his hunger had driven him to~~ -

   When he was human again, he avoided people; the only touch was bustling crowds and pickpockets who were to find nothing on him. There were a few times he had been grabbed by people - whether for forced labor or trafficking, who knew? - and those were rough, desperate, angry touches. With scowling, learning faces and darkly muttering voices.

    Jake wasn’t afraid to bite people at least.

    Then. . .there were the orphanages.

    They weren’t all horrible. But most of them followed the same pattern: boys were to be prim and proper like the girls. Hugging or holding hands wasn’t allowed with the opposite gender, and it was considered ‘unmanly’ amongst the few men who helped look after them. 

    Punishments were followed by switches, or ear pinches; roughly tugging on arms or yanking hair. The few delinquents that were among them were eager to get physical and fight.

    Praise was never a back pat or head pat; merely empty words duly echoed with fake enthusiasm. 

    But punishments. . .they were physical and direct; immediate. Those stuck with him more.

    (It wasn’t his fault for being lost in a fog of time; he _was_ smart - just distant and distracted. But mental health and learning differences wouldn’t be considered for quite a long time, so more often than not Jake was ‘punished’ for ‘goofing off’ or ‘being a disturbance.’)

    He has learned that more often than not that he would receive a bad touch over a good one.

    So when Zero had tried to run fingers through his hair, it had startled him more than anything.

     When was the last time he had had a friendly touch?

    He hadn’t realized he had been starving so long.

* * *

    “Hey, uh, I’m fine with - if you want to play with my hair.”

    Jake tried not to be embarrassed - they were good friends, after all, and over time they had gotten used to grabbing one another’s arms in excitement or fear, huddling together on cool nights, and having clinging hugs.

     It was like a craving that was easy to sate, but always came back again.

    Zero blinked, and smiling gently, hummed, “Sure. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

    “It just. . .caught me off guard,” he manages. It had taken him  _months_  to finally bring it up.

    But any hesitation or embarrassment melted away when she reached up and shifted through his hair; he hadn’t been expecting her to just go for it, but even so he was careful not to pull away. He sighed and melted into it.

    And Zero laughed, but it wasn’t cruel or mocking - he knew her too well at this point, and if his reaction amused her, then he was more than fine with it.

    _Especially_ if this happened more often.

 


End file.
